Reflection on Constellation

Constellation began right from the start of the year. At first it was one hour lectures held by a different tutor each time. Every one of them had a superb knowledge and skill in their field of study. I personally found that some of them were hard to listen or understand, and it is not because it was too quiet, but the subject that some of them talked about was too complex for me. After the lecture there was a study skill classes which were split in groups and each group had a different constellation tutor. I enjoyed most of them actually, i found it a lot easier to understand and involve in the subject in smaller groups. On the other hand some of them i found a bit boring and i didn’t enjoy it much, but by that point i realized how useful study skills were, and i wished to pay more attention to some of them. I think it would have been good if study skills carried on throughout the year. Learning the basic of each subject i believe would have been useful and possible to apply the learned skills to everyday life in one way or the other.
The next term of constellation was to choose a subject that interests you to study and get a greater understanding of it. I did not get my first choice but i did get my second choice which was ‘Living on the Edge’ with Professor Clive Cazeaux. I have always found philosophy intriguing even if i do not understanding completely and it confuses me a lot.
The first lecture with Clive was about the death of art, design, author and human, which lifted me up, considering i did not understand the first half of the lecture at all, but the second half i have – or so i thought that i have, did make me wonder, roused a lot of questions which i did blog about in my very first constellation blog. As now looking thorough my notes i don’t think i understood that either but a good part is, it made think about the subject, and encouraged my brain to work.
I felt positive about my decision and i wanted to learn to understand it. As the lectured went on, the more and more i realized, perhaps this subject it is not for me. Every and each matter, when talked about rouses more and more questions which have no answers to, and it will never will, as people or ‘beings’ have a different opinion and view from one another, perhaps some can agree on certain things/views but there is always going to be somebody who will not, and would propose something completely different. Of course if everyone would agree on the same things, it would be a chaos. So it is great to have an opinion and be individual, also a big part of development is questioning everything and finding a right answer for yourself, that suits you. It will be a person who will not agree with you, but it is okay if the answer you found and accepted pleases you. I guess i see it like that because i do not have enough patience to question everything again when the answer found pleases me, the more you try to find most suitable answer the more it all becomes unclear, with more unsolved questions. I see philosophy like a massive maze or a very large and difficult puzzle.
The whole experience on this philosophy subject was an eye opener, even if i did not understand most of it. I learned to think differently, I question things more often then what i did before. It aroused my curiosity to life.

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